Eight months of travelling through different cultures, writing a novel, and not doing a full-time job have given me the opportunity to revisit what I believe; to reconsider the philosophies, convictions and commitments that underpin my life and counselling practice. And what keeps reasserting itself persistently in my mind is the awareness that Western civilization has become increasingly infected by a culture of narcissism. One of the characters in my book summarizes our history like this:
And so we see the steady progress of our decline into narcissism and superficiality. From animism, where everything is alive with magic; through polytheism, in which powerful archetypal energies are anthropomorphized into human-like gods; to today’s world, in which actors and rich socialites have become the new Olympians; and on into our probable future, in which FaceBook and Instagram and YouTube and Twitter encourage each of us to grab the fifteen minutes of fame Andy Warhol predicted for us, becoming in the process our own gods, the very false idols we were once warned not to worship.
The cult of individualism has been stretched to breaking point. All around me I see symptoms of the disease: depression, anxiety, addiction, insecurity, loneliness, failed relationships, and a pervading sense of emptiness and meaninglessness. Why? Because, from the moment we are born, we are so heavily programmed to think about ourselves that it has become almost impossible for us truly to be there for each other. And yet we are herd animals: we are not meant to live alone, but in communities, caring for and about each other.
At the extreme end of the scale, it has shocked me just how many of my clients have been emotionally and psychologically damaged by a parent who – according to the client’s description – would merit a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But I would also estimate that at least 90% of my clients would have been able to work through their own psychic issues without the help of a professional if only they were embedded in a support community capable of offering them unconditional love and listening to them without agendas, opinions or unsolicited advice.
In the two blogs that follow, I will propose that the practice of unconditional love and the formation of communities are our most powerful and appropriate responses to this pernicious culture of narcissism; and that, in the meantime, counselling is the most obvious remedy to the sickness that plagues us, precisely because all good counselling is built upon a foundation of unconditional love.
In the meantime, I urge you to react to this blog, and hope to inspire some meaningful dialogue around this crucial topic.